Kheme’s Tips for 2014

Sorry I’m posting this at the last day of the 1st month of the new year, but before the new month begins, and as the new year starts proper, let me lay down some tips for anyone interested, for 2014…

  1. Limit options
    While more is usually better, when it comes to options, more is worse! It has been scientifically proven that the more options you have, the more difficult it is for you to make a choice or decision. So, to simplify your life, try reducing your options to a few in 2014
  2. Focus
    People like to take pride in the fact that they can “multitask” However, I have come to learn that doing multiple tasks at the same time is not as effective or efficient as focusing on multiple tasks, but one at a time. Pick one thing, and focus on that one thing, give it your 100% before moving on the the next task… you would work smarter and with more efficiency
  3. Make lists
    Lists are a great way to keep track of things, such as tasks, projects, work, and so on. I have been using lists for only God knows how long, and my life has been pretty organized. However, we are human beings with a huge brain capacity: do not be tied to your list! I mean, yes you should have a list but also have a “backup” of each list in your head, in case you lose your list. While lists are a good thing, you might want to consider why I don’t like writing. Let your 2014 be about lists, and notes, not like that, but smart lists (with your brains too)
  4. No more deadlines
    Deadlines do sound like a good way to keep on track, but the fact is that in reality, things usually take a long as they need to get done. Unless you’re assigning a deadline for a task you have done repeatedly for years and know exactly how things will turn out (also given unforeseen consequences) then you’re fine. Else, deadlines are almost never being, especially when they are not realistic enough. When this occurs, 2 things always happen: you get depressed that you failed to meet your deadline, AND work goes on nonetheless. So why forget about deadlines, cut out the bad feeling when you fail to meet them, and just be diligent at what you do, not matter how long it takes. So say goodbye to deadlines in 2014, like you’ve said your goodbyes to 2013
  5. Open your mind, be open to change
    I feel I need to emphasize this again because though this saying is everywhere, most people are not so open minded or open to change. I’m not sure why, but people choose to remain confined in their own comfort zone, and do not welcome any unknowns or changes. Like an old saying goes… you never know what you’re missing, until you try something new. Change is good, that’s how we improve and progress in life. So be a little more open minded, even to things you do not exactly understand
  6. Challenge yourself
    Overcoming challenges is one of the ways we feel “alive” and challenging yourself from time to time is one way to actually grow as a person. It may be physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and otherwise. However, with each challenge accomplished, your you get a self esteem boost, and would feel more satisfaction with life. In 2014, try to challenge yourself here and there, not matter how little, and see how good it feels
  7. Don’t force yourself on people
    I’ve learned a fact in life… If a person really wants to have relations with you (friendship, business, and so on) they will make it easy for you, rather than difficult. Every once in a while, we come across people we like, maybe as friends or even more. And sometimes, some of those people would make it so easy, while others would even after 5 years of knowing them, still make it as frustrating just to remain friends with them. The reality is that such people are not worth your time and/or effort. If they really want anything with you, they will make it easy and the relationship will flow smoothly. So I’ve learned to catch the early sings and learned not to force myself on anyone, not for any kind of relationship (business, friendship, romantic, and so on). Doing so will save you strength and time to invest into the relationships that really matter in your life
  8. Spend some solidarity time with yourself
    Someone once said that one needs to learn to be with oneself first, before you can be with others, else being with others might just be a way to escape from yourself. I mean, if you can’t be with yourself, how do you expect someone to be with you. I’ve had so much time to be with myself form a very very age in my life. Not only does this make me naturally happy, it also means I can have  fun by myself and not be bored by myself. 3 reasons to embrace solidarity: 1. inner happiness 2. you will never be bored or lonely 3. you would hardly need others to feel complete or have fun. Promise to spend some solidarity time with yourself this 2014
  9. Nobody cares
    It’s sad, but nobody really cares what you think or believe. I’ve seen this photo on Facebook so many times, it say something like this… listen to what they say, nod your head like you agree, then go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want. Well, while you do this, the next person is doing the same to you as well. I’ve come to realize that people only care about what they think and believe (not everybody of course). However, once you realize this reality, you can begin to expect less from people, especially when they are not on the same side with you on certain matter and opinions. I’ve found myself many times trying to explain something that is off great important to me, and have people stare at me like “yea yea, whatever, when you’re done talking let me know” and it really sucks. Truth be told, nobody really cares
  10. Laugh at yourself
    Tony Robbins once said that when shit happens in life, long after we’ve past that time in our lives, we would always look back and laugh, like “I can’t believe I was so upset about so and so” or “that was a funny time in my life” and so on. He also said, if you’re gonna laugh about it in the future, why not just laugh about it now? Well, I really do take it literally! I mean, when I screw up, and I know that I’ve obviously screwed up, I take some time to really genuinely laugh at myself like “Kheme, you’re so so screwed haha!” Sometimes it feels good, but it always snaps me into the reality of my situation 🙂 Seriously, I do recommend laughing at yourself once in a while, whether it’s about something stupid, crazy or whatever, that you did or are about to do
  11. Forgive, truly
    Forgive and forget isn’t for the benefit of the offender, but for your own benefit, the offended. The fact is that if you never truly forgive, you will continue to hurt from within whenever the slightest thing reminds you of the office. Truly forgiving rids  you of all pain and hurt. Learn to truly forgive in 2014
  12. Habits
    Habits are each to build, especially unconsciously, but more difficult to break. In 2014, simply try to break at least 1 bad habit consciously, and deliberately try to make a new good habit as well. It becomes easier with consistence and persistence
  13. Never stop dreaming!
    Never EVER stop dreaming… NEVER! No age is ever too young to accomplish a dream, no matter how small. I mean, unless the dream is to the the smartest baby lol I mean, I’ve looked at notes of mine from many years ago and it seriously sucks to see how many dreams I threw away because I wasn’t serious about pursuing them. Over the last few years now, I’ve picked up those dreams again and it feels really good getting back (it’s good to keep notes). Also, I feel really proud and accomplished when I realize how many dreams from many years ago I had already accomplished. Some I had even forgotten or didn’t even imagine how I would do them, have already been accomplished! Even Abraham never stopped dreaming 🙂 At 90, his wife had child. So in 2014, seriously consider those old abandoned dreams, and get busy!
  14. Don’t compare yourself with others
    This will just make you sad and maybe depressed! It’s simply not fair, seriously! Comparing yourself with that co-worker, friend, etc. is just not fair, simply because you have very different backgrounds, diverse life experiences, and definitely not the same opportunities. It’s like grading a fish and an egg plant on the same learning curve, or comparing a an average village boy to a typical city boy; it’s just not fair to either of them. So stop comparing yourself in 2014, and just try your best to be the best version of yourself
  15. Accept reality
    There are times when you will find yourself in a really difficult situation, a kind of situation you never planned for or imagined you will be in. It would feel like a bad dream, but the more your fight it, the more it hurts. I once found myself in such situation and I got depressed for a day or so, thinking to myself “how on earth did I end up here!?” But after a while, I realized that I had 2 choices… either quit and get out, or accept the current reality and adapt accordingly. I wasn’t in a place where I could just “go back” so I accepted the reality as it was, and the whole situation became easier, and I was happy in the end. So sometimes, you just need to really understand the reality of your situation, accept that this is it, and then act accordingly… adapt, or quit! Live in the reality of 2014!

And a bonus for you… feel the music! Music always makes things better, easier and more fun. Studies show that people who listen to more music are generally happier and more positive. Add some tunes to your work, or walk, or even sleep, and 2014 will not be the same as the previous years, I guarantee it!

With these tips, I wish everyone a successful and happy 2014!

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