Each and every time I talk to a friend who is refusing to forgive an offence, I can’t help but wonder how they think they can remain happy with so much unforgiveness in their hearts. I mean, it’s an unhealthy habit physically, mentally and emotionally.
Unknown to them, they explain to me how unhappy they are and how they’re suffering because of unforgiveness. This is not how they say it though, but let me explain, just hang on.
Each time I bring up a topic related with the offender, they start to feel bad and THEY get angry. When I talk about going to a certain place where they think they might run into the offender, THEY change their plans in order to avoid going there. When they see the offender or even just a picture of the offender, THEY get pissed, become angry and start cursing at them, wishing them bad and so on. When the offender walks pass, THEY get filled with rage, burning with anger. In some cases they would have killed the offender numerous times in their mind in just that moment of sighting the offender lol.
Now tell me, what do you find in common with all these real life examples?? “They” are the one suffering, and NOT the offender. The truth is that the offender is out there living their lives, enjoying probably right at the moment when you’re burning with rage, and the offender isn’t even slightly thinking about pathetic you! Not forgiving them does not in away make them suffer, it doesn’t even affect them at all. The person most probably doesn’t even know that you hate them and don’t want to forgive them. Ultimately, they will continue to have power and control over your life, in one way or another. Seeing them makes you upset… that is them affecting your life even without them even knowing it.
So my question to the unforgivers… how in anyway whatsoever, does this benefiting you? Why not just choose to forgive and forget, and then move on with living and enjoying your life? Why wouldn’t anyone love themselves enough to want to do this and just be happy? I don’t know!
So what do you think? Do you agree with me?