What I am about to talk about took place several months ago, sometime while I was still in Cyprus, but I never got around to writing about it until now. I still remember talking to my friend Rosie about it shortly after it happened. So this is a short story about how quickly I was able to find the positive side in what seemed to be a bad situation, and you too could be doing the same. I truly believe that there is a positive and a negative side to everything, and that truly happy people have the willingness, skill or ability to find at least one positive side in everything.
There’s a quote from the beginning of a movie I saw many years ago that goes something like this: the secret to happiness is to chase after good, and not after evil. For many years, this quote made no sense to me because I could not understand how one would chase after good or evil. It made no sense until I started to understand how the mind works. It is written in the bible that when you seek something, you will find it, and the same is applicable to life itself; when you seek the negative (constantly) in situations, you will definitely (always) find it, and when you seek the positive in situations, you will definitely find it too.
Be grateful, even for the little things
My friend was just telling me on the phone about an order she placed online, that should be delivered to the North side of Cyprus. She has had packages from online orders wrongfully delivered to the South side of Cyprus before. This seems to be a common mistake around here, especially for foreigners in North Cyprus.
While I was working at the International Office of the European University of Lefke, there were many times when students would come to the office to complain about their packages being sent to the South side. But as I and my friend were hoping that her package gets delivered right, I could remember all the packages I had had delivered to me here in North Cyprus. Continue reading
We were looking at this post on #Facebook and someone commented about not having the need to revenge, or “hate” and my friend said “hate and revenge are not the same”. But I paused to think about it altogether and it hit me that hate, literally has no point. Or should I say that hate is not good for your health. Continue reading
I realized a couple of years ago that most people still don’t understand what it means to forgive and to forget, and I believe that I really understood what it meant. So stay with me for a moment.
First, let me talk about the “forget” part because that is the subject of the general misconception of this phrase. Some think that the forgetting part mean to literally forget, but let’s think about it… can you actually forget? The answer simply is No! (with a capital letter N). Continue reading
Each and every time I talk to a friend who is refusing to forgive an offence, I can’t help but wonder how they think they can remain happy with so much unforgiveness in their hearts. I mean, it’s an unhealthy habit physically, mentally and emotionally.
Unknown to them, they explain to me how unhappy they are and how they’re suffering because of unforgiveness. This is not how they say it though, but let me explain, just hang on.
Each time I bring up a topic related with the offender, they start to feel bad and THEY get angry. When I talk about going to a certain place where they think they might run into the offender, THEY change their plans in order to avoid going there. When they see the offender or even just a picture of the offender, THEY get pissed, become angry and start cursing at them, wishing them bad and so on. When the offender walks pass, THEY get filled with rage, burning with anger. In some cases they would have killed the offender numerous times in their mind in just that moment of sighting the offender lol.
Now tell me, what do you find in common with all these real life examples?? “They” are the one suffering, and NOT the offender. The truth is that the offender is out there living their lives, enjoying probably right at the moment when you’re burning with rage, and the offender isn’t even slightly thinking about pathetic you! Not forgiving them does not in away make them suffer, it doesn’t even affect them at all. The person most probably doesn’t even know that you hate them and don’t want to forgive them. Ultimately, they will continue to have power and control over your life, in one way or another. Seeing them makes you upset… that is them affecting your life even without them even knowing it.
So my question to the unforgivers… how in anyway whatsoever, does this benefiting you? Why not just choose to forgive and forget, and then move on with living and enjoying your life? Why wouldn’t anyone love themselves enough to want to do this and just be happy? I don’t know!
So what do you think? Do you agree with me?
“Life goes on” is one phrase that most definitely resonates with you as you read this, but it is also something we often forget or ignore, despite how true we know and believe it to be.
The first time I told my first girlfriend that I wanted to breakup with her, her sister called me later that day that she tried to kill herself. This was in early 2000 during our teenage years, and the most appropriate response would be “come on girl, don’t be silly!” Over time, the threats of an eminent breakup came and went, over and again, until it lost its effect altogether. However, when the relationship finally ended, I couldn’t imagine a future without her and it really did feel like my life was going to be different, if it did not lose meaning and end.
Fast forward 10+ years and here I am doing pretty well, and we both laugh about those days at how “silly” we both were. Nevertheless, we often find ourselves in similar situations, even as grownups. A few years ago, an affair of about 2+ years abruptly came to an end, and I was devastated. It was devastating because most times (if not all the time) when I imagined my future, she was always in it somewhere, and so when the relationship came to an end, it became very, very difficult to literally imagine a future without her. I needed time to readjust imagining my future without her in it. In about 3 months, I was fine again.
Why am I saying all this? I have come to realize that no matter how different the lack of a person in your life may feel, you will be fine at the end of the day, so don’t fuzz. Whether it’s the loss of a significant other, a sibling or a parent, things will usually turn out fine because we are human beings… we adapt.
So in situations like these, smile and say to yourself “don’t be silly!” because life certainly goes on!
So about personal hygiene, think with me for a moment…
You’re walking barefooted in the backyard when you step on a fresh, steaming piece of hot dog poop! Damn! What do you do? Wash or wipe? I believe most people will wash, with water instead of just wiping it properly with tissue paper. But WHY?!? Why wash? Why not just wipe it off with some tissue paper?
But this is my argument and my personal opinion… why then would same people wipe instead of wash after taking a shit? I mean, if it’s more hygienic to wash off dog poop from your feet doesn’t that also apply to your butt after taking a dump? Isn’t it common sense?
I had been wiping until about 8 years ago and now I always wash, as long as I have access to water and soap. I personally wouldn’t feel clean if I have to wipe, especially when I’m outside. And as soon as I arrive home, I go wash again lol
What about you? Do you wash or wipe? Please share your opinion in the comments section below.